The Unexpected Downside of Childhood Piano Prodigy: Unraveling Subconscious Beliefs

I was making lunch the other day when I had a sudden realization about playing the piano since childhood.

As a toddler, I didn't have a choice; from the tender age of 3 or 4, I was told to take private piano lessons and not stop until I turned 18 or received my classical performance diploma, whichever came first.

Just like my sisters and cousins before me, I spent countless hours at the piano, practicing drills in the form of scales and arpeggios or rehearsing Chopin, Beethoven, Liszt, Mozart, and Bach pieces. I believed, as did my parents, that this rigorous musical training was shaping me into a more intelligent, disciplined, and talented individual. Being 'good' at music became a part of my identity. 

The cognitive benefits of musical training are well-documented. But earlier this week, I had an epiphany that made me question the full impact of my experience.

Despite years of serious dedication, I never pursued a career as a concert pianist or joined an orchestra. Somewhere in my teens, I also taught myself how to sing, write music, and produce records. Despite having over 10 years of experience in that before graduating college, I never pursued it.

At first, I brushed it off. "Well, I learned discipline and focus," I'd tell myself. "That's valuable in any career." 

As I progressed in my non-musical career, I started noticing some patterns in my behavior and sneaky thought processes that gave me pause.

The internal dialogue usually goes something like this:

“If I couldn’t do something with music after 15 years of training, what am I good for?"

I remembered a conversation with a family member when I was debating my college options. I wanted to apply to a good school, and I wasn't sure if I'd get into the program of my choice.

They said something that stuck with me: "You're competing with classmates who've prepared their whole lives for something like that. Do you really think you can just start doing it out of nowhere?"

Now I realize how deeply that sentiment had taken root in my psyche. I still remember the comment now, 12 years later.

It reinforced my existing impostor syndrome and any perfectionist tendencies I had.

Throughout my 20's, I found myself constantly jumping from one interest to another, never fully committing. It wasn't that I had trouble picking up new hobbies - quite the opposite. I'd dive into new pursuits with enthusiasm, and I was often pretty good at them from the get-go. But inevitably I'd find myself wondering, "what's the point?" and give up.

During my lightbulb moment, I discovered surprising subconscious beliefs that had taken root during my formative years:

The Guilt of Ease: I learned delayed gratification through years of grueling practice, often crying in frustration at the piano. But this also instilled in me a block that worthwhile achievements must come through suffering. I automatically close myself off from easy solutions, even when they're readily available. Any moment I take a break or rest, I feel a nagging sense of guilt – as if I can't ever let my guard down, that I must struggle in order to be successful.

Commitment Issues: Years of rigorous training instilled in me a belief that nothing was worth doing unless it was absolutely perfect. That to be successful, I needed to have started very young and dedicated my whole life to it. Why pour energy into something if I couldn't be the best at it?

Impostor's Syndrome: Despite my training, I didn't become a professional musician. This led to a sneaky belief that I was somehow an impostor in any field. When faced with new opportunities, a voice in my head would echo, "do you really think you can just start doing this out of nowhere?"

These realizations were eye-opening. They made me wonder:

How many of us are carrying around similar subconscious beliefs from our childhoods? Beliefs that silently shape our decisions, reactions, and self-perception without us even realizing it?

I observe people around me and I often analyze their actions. They point to other common but sneaky subconscious beliefs:

"I must be seen as perfect in order to feel good about myself"

"My lifestyle should match or exceed my parents' at this age"

"I want others to see my Tesla/G-Wagon to prove that I can keep up with my peers"

"I'm falling behind if I'm not hitting certain life milestones" or "if I'm not married/don't have kids, something's wrong with me"

But here's the truth: these beliefs keep us stuck in self-limiting containers. They add on to our expectations of ourselves, and reinforce low self-esteem. 

A low self-esteem has been correlated with with life's biggest outcomes, including educational attainment, net worth, and stable adult relationships.

You can see how that might lead to a feedback loop, or a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The good news is that recognizing these beliefs is the first step towards change. Once we're aware of these sneaky subconscious thoughts, we can start to challenge them. We can ask ourselves: Are these beliefs serving us? Are they based on reality, or are they outdated stories we're telling ourselves?

For me, understanding the roots of my perfectionism and impostor syndrome has been liberating. It's allowed me to approach new challenges with a more balanced perspective. 

When people ask me how to do this for themselves, I'll give them the IAM Method spiel; rapid transformation happened when I:

• Balanced my neurochemistry 

• Understood how the subconscious mind actually works

• Used cognitive re-framing to correct outdated thought distortions

• Worked on emotional intelligence to prevent harmful scripts from loading into my subconscious 

It started with my fascination with the world of spirituality and manifesting, but I realized much of that is grounded in neuroscience and psychology.

That's when I created the IAM Method.

This process of unraveling all this isn't easy, but it's incredibly rewarding. It opens up possibilities we might have previously dismissed. It allows us to redefine success on our own terms, rather than living up to externally imposed standards.

Remember, it's never too late to rewrite your story.

Where to go from here

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